I recently visited a friend who I’d not seen for over a year. We spoke of the sights and sounds around us. Our activities. Why couldn’t I dive into deep conversation with ease?
Did it matter as long as I was with her?
Small Talk
Perhaps you’ve heard the buzz about the benefits of small talk. And that no matter the outcome—deeper conversation, learning new things, ongoing connection, or a one-off exchange—a few casual words with strangers boosts our psyche and aids cognitive health.
Being in proximity to someone, no matter the conversation or lack thereof, boosts our feel-good endorphins. Especially if it’s a person who matters to us. And this friend matters deeply to me.
I’ll take it a step further:
It’s all about the energy.
Energy comprises everything—from its dense, tangible form that is matter, to the diffuse energy fields around us and all beings that some call auras.
Most of us sense when someone moves into our personal space—we feel their energy encroaching and we know when they are too close for our comfort. This is an automated response we may not even be aware of.
The bottom line: we sense energy.
Driving home after seeing my friend, a radio segment came on about the benefits of small talk. I laughed. I’d been berating myself about my inability to start a deep conversation. Then I got to thinking: what truly worked for me in the connection with my friend was being with her. Feeling her energy near.
Feeling love. Which is energy.
Being in proximity to a loved one is deliciously fulfilling for me. I shared energy with my friend. The words, much of it surface talk, didn’t matter.
What about small talk with strangers? Do I enjoy feeling their energy? Not in the same way, and yet connecting feels good.
Strands of Connection
Annia is an Elder in my novel, The Working. (A secret: she’s based on a real Ancestor as is her wisdom). Annia offers:
“You are an energy node connected to nearby nodes through strand-like flows of energy, forming a web pattern. All living beings thus form the ever-changing, regenerating Web of All … You brighten as you extend more threads from your core, which happens as you relate with other beings.”
I often refer to the Web of Life that we and all living kin of the Earth are part of. And I offer workshops with energy practices to be a bright node in the Web. Just like the Witches in my novel, being bright in the way Annia mentions—widening our energy and creating more connections—helps heal the Web and all the beings who are part of it.
Including us.
In these troubling times, I hope you cherish your energy exchanges. If not with humans, with non-human animals, with trees, with rivers and ocean, with soil.